


You left me!

by changesintime



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Darkness, Friendship, M/M, sterek slow building, stiles emissary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changesintime/pseuds/changesintime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started as a Sterek request fic from teenwolftoday on tumblr, it is growing slowly.</p>
<p>Stiles gets to say goodbye to Derek, but it doesn't go as he planned. He was trying to force him to stay and now he's struggling with the darkness Deaton warned them about and trying to learn to become an emissary for Scott, but even Scott knows that Stiles is in his pack, but he is not the alpha he is committed to. Even if that alpha, isn't an alpha anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teenwofltoday](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=teenwofltoday).



> Thank you so much! This is my first Sterek fic, and in reality this is my first teen wolf fic as well. I used to write little 300-500 word scenes, but this has exploded. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it :)

“Stiles.”

“Derek, please.” Stiles looked at the man in front of him his heart breaking as he slid the door to the loft shut for the last time. “You can’t just up and leave. We need you here. I need you here.”

“I’m not an alpha anymore, Stiles. No one needs me here. My sister needs me. Cora needs me.”

“Cora’s taken care of herself for the last six years, if she needed you she would have come back sooner. She came back because you were an alpha. A Hale Alpha. A powerful alpha. Those rumors are what brought her home.” Stiles moved closer to him looking at him thoughtfully before dropping his eyes. “You’re not an alpha anymore. If you two leave, you’ll be omegas. Didn’t you say they were always the first to die? There are still Hunters. You need a pack. We’re pack. We might not be the best group of people, but we can count on each other. Don’t abandon us.”

“And what? Submit to the pup my uncle turned? Scott might be an alpha, a true alpha, but he’s still a teenager. You’re all teenagers. None of you know what’s out there, but you make choices with consequences.”

“That’s why we need you. Derek, please.”

“I’m sorry, Stiles. I really am.” Derek moved past him carefully. His arm accidentally brushing against Stiles causing a pang in his heart, an unexplainable aching feeling at the prospect of leaving him. “If you need anything, with in reason, text me. I’ll do my best to help.” He moved down the stairs Cora following closely at his heels.

Stiles looked down at his phone and quickly started pounding at the keys.

                D o n t  L e a v e M e.

                                I ‘ m  S o r r y

 

Stiles didn’t need werewolf hearing to hear the car pulling out and driving away. He stayed planted to the spot outside of the loft until he couldn’t hear anything anymore and he just stood there. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even think. Derek told him to text him. He did and he still left. Like his mom, but unlike her he could have stayed.

He should have told him everything. About the darkness. He could feel it. Deaton was right that it would haunt them, but they didn’t have a choice. They needed to save their parents.  He could feel it tugging at his heart strings. He wondered for a moment if maybe Derek could have helped. He would have understood.  Scott was an alpha now. They could have stayed. They would have been safer as a pack. Maybe they would have another pack. But pack was more than family. They were pack! Frustrated he left the loft without looking back.

**Come back. Something Is wrong.**

**Are you just trying to make me come back to Beacon Hills or is there something Scott can’t handle on his own?**

**Scott’s struggling to separate his feelings from his duties as an alpha. Issac asked him permission to date Allison. She didn’t even bother to ask him herself. Something about pack dynamics. Everything is falling apart.**

**I can’t help them Stiles. This is something Scott has to learn on his own.**

**You didn’t learn it on your own! You watched your mother! Derek, please.**

**Cora and I are just getting settled.**

**This isn’t about you and Cora this is about you stepping up to help your pack! Or was Isaac right. Did you only change him for the power and now that you’re a beta you don’t care anymore!**

**Stiles, please don’t do this.**

**WE NEED YOU!**

**I need to do this. For everyone. I’m sorry if me being away hurts you, but sometimes for things to get better it needs to hurt first.**

**And what are you some zen life master! I NEED YOU! YOU LEFT ME! I almost lost my father, my best friend, a woman whose been like my own mother since mine died and then you just LEFT! After everything we did to protect you from the alpha pack. After everything YOU JUST LEFT US! Did you even care what happened to us?**

**Fine. Goodbye Derek.**

“stiles?”

“Dad, you’re home early.” Stiles threw his phone onto his bed and moved to his computer.

“I thought we could talk. You know, about how I reacted when you tried to tell me what was going on.”

Stiles face fell. “Dad, forget it. I didn’t mean it. I was just scared I was going to lose you.”

“You were right son, your mother would have believed you. I’m so sorry.” He moved across the room and hugged him tight.

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t have believed me either.”

“What about Derek and Cora? Are they going to be coming back. I’d like to have a chat with Derek. Melissa has made me aware of some things you didn’t elaborate on.”

“Dad!” Stiles blushed. “I don’t even know how she knows…. Wait, what parts?”

“About pushing you into walls, and being all rough. He has to remember you’re human. You’ll break. What else would I be talking about?”

“nothing…nothing.”

 

Things didn’t get better. Stiles felt the darkness around his heart a little more every day. His easy going nature was much more subdued and watching Scott finally fall into his place as alpha wasn’t helping. It was so easy for him, for Allison to just move on from what was happening. They had people they could depend on. Someone to hold them when they were upset. Somewhere in the two months Derek had been gone Scott found himself a new girlfriend and finally moved on from Allison. Things were much easier for the pack after that.  Or rather they were better for everyone but him. He was still alone and spent more days than not hiding out at Derek ‘s , now empty, loft.  He hadn’t texted him since he refused to come home to help Scott. He wanted to understand, but he was tired of being alone. His dad was spending a lot of time with Scott’s Mom. Scott’s dad wouldn’t take a hint and just leave town and because of Scott’s relationship he was on the back burner again. The only one in the pack who didn’t have a significant other. The only one who was succumbing to the darkness surrounding his heart.

                                **Stiles?**

**What do you want, Derek?**

**I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…the last time we talked I didn’t mean to upset you.**

**Scott texted you. Didn’t he?**

**He’s just trying to help. Don’t be mad at him.**

**Oh I’m not mad at him, Derek. I’m mad that it’s taken you two months to fucking apologize and it’s not even what you should be apologizing for!**

**Stiles, please. She’s…Cora is my sister. She needed me. We needed a fresh start. Can’t you understand that?**

**I’m not having this fight with you again. I’m too tired. If you want to come back your pack will welcome you back with open arms. But some thing is coming. Deaton was right. What we did made beacon hills a beacon again. And we’re not ready.**

**You don’t need me for that. You and Lydia are smart enough for the whole pack. Unless you’re saying that you need more brawn, but rumor has it the twins are accepting Scott.**

**How do you….**

**Peter.**

**Funny, since he’s the one I’m worried about.**

**He’s on your side, Stiles. Stop being paranoid. He did nothing but help in regards to the alpha pack.**

**Fine, don’t believe me. But when you start hearing about deaths in Beacon Hills, don’t say you weren’t warned.**

**Stiles.**

**I’m fine. That’s what you needed to hear isn’t it. Now you’ve heard it. So unless you’re coming home, stop pretending you care.**

Stiles looked around the empty loft one more town as tears of frustration trickled down his face. “Goodbye, Derek.” He whispered as he left closing the door with more force than necessary. He made his way back to his beat up old jeep and allowed himself to just drive. He didn’t know what led him to Deaton, but he wasn’t going to leave.

“Stiles? What can I do for you?” Deaton asked confused.

“You were right, about the darkness. I need help. I need to keep busy. I want you to teach me.”

“Teach you what Stiles?” He asked, knowing the answer.

“To be an emissary.”

“It’s going to be harder now. You have the spark, you’ve always had it, but with the darkness around your heart,” He was cautious. He always intended to teach Stiles the traditions he’d learned from his family. He had no one to replace him and Scott would need an emissary after he was gone. It would be better for everyone if it was someone who he got along with.

“I’ll do whatever it takes. Just, please.”

“Okay, but we do this my way.”

“So I’m your padawon learner, master Jedi.” Stiles had a lazy grin as Deaton rolled his eyes.

“You’ll meet me here after closing.”

“Closing? You’re not going to tell Scott…” Stiles was confused by the request.

“No. This is going to be between us. I don’t know if it’s going to work. You’ve seen a lot of darkness, you’re connected with the nameton in a way that could corrupt you. I don’t think either of us want to worry him about you being another Julia.”

“Miss. Blake was almost killed by her Alpha.”

“Are you saying that yours hasn’t broken you?” Deaton asked with a knowing look.

“He’s not an alpha anymore.”

“He will always be your alpha Stiles, because Scott is your best friend and yes you’re pack, but in the end your loyalties are with Derek.”

“He abandoned us. My loyalties are with Scott and the people who stuck around instead of running away like a coward!”

“You don’t think that. You’re just angry. And until you stop being angry, you won’t be able to learn. Not properly. Think about it.”

“Scott needs him! He left Scott to figure this all out on his own! Left him here with Peter. And we all know that Peter is a mischievous power hungry master mind! And he left with Cora. Neither of them are alphas. That makes them omega! They are lone wolves! What if they get caught by hunters? What if he gets killed? Doesn’t he care what would happen to us if he never came back? What would happen to me?  He hasn’t even bothered to let us know he was alive until Scott texted him about me being a recluse!”

“Stiles…”

“STOP COODLING ME!” he slammed his fist down on the metal operating table yelping in surprise and looking down at his reddening hand.

“Stiles, Stiles stop!”

“Lydia…What are you? How did you…..I need to go.”

“Stiles! Now!” Lydia’s voice reminded him of before everything changed. Before people realized she wasn’t just the beautiful popular girl, but also the smart girl. “You need to calm down. You are going to cause yourself to have a panic attack and right now I don’t think kissing you is going to fix that. Plus I don’t think Aiden would understand. And I don’t think I’m the one you want to be kissing.” She added the last bit as an after thought but the glare she earned from Stiles was enough to catch even her off guard. “Scotts worried about you.”

“And yet I don’t see him here. He’s off with the new girl. Everyone is too busy to notice that I’m alone. None of you miss him!”

“That’s because we still talk to him.” Lydia said quietly. “He checks up on you a lot. Been sending post cards to the pack. We didn’t realize he wasn’t….Stiles don’t overreact.”

“You’re telling me he’s ignoring me, while he’s wherever he is!”

“I think he’s trying to….not hurt you. I don’t know what you said to him the last time you texted, but when Cora called Scott Issac heard that Derek is trying to avoid you because he thinks he’s hurt you.”

“I need to go.”

“Stiles, just stop!”

“No! You have no right to stand there and and just….no.” Stiles moved by Lydia tripping over his own two feet in the process. He didn’t look back he just left. He needed to get away. He was in auto pilot mode. He didn’t noticed the black camero following him. If he had he might have been more careful about his choice of words as he slammed his door to enter his house.

“Stiles? Everything okay?”

“Fine dad. I’m just gonna go to bed.” He pointed up the stairs taking them two at a time whimpering as he banged his knee against the wall. “shit!” Clenching his fist he closed his door and collapsed onto his bed. He lied when he said he’d be going to bed. He hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks. It had been getting worse and the more he thought about it the more he realized his nightmares were already a reality. He closed his eyes and felt himself drifting into the dark abyss.  

***

“Derek?”

“How could you Stiles? I thought we could trust you!”

“Derek I don’t…I didn’t.”

“I thought you understood the consequences! They warned you! Deaton told you that you had to be careful, but you started digging deeper. Why would you?”

“What did I do? Derek please I don’t know what I did!”

“They were your friends. They were pack!”

***

“Wake up.”

***

“I did this for you! He was going to kill you, they thought you were the enemy! They thought you killed someone so you could be an alpha again! They were sticking by Scott!”

“They were doing what they had to. I’m not as innocent as you like to pretend, Stiles. Being an emissary means you sit on the side line, you give advice, You don’t go out an murder innocent people.”

“They were hardly innocent Derek.” Stiles scoffs at the idea of Allison and Lydia being innocent.

“They were not a threat! If anything Allison was the reason the Argents, other than her father, were thinking of calming down on hunting our kind! ‘We protect those who cannot protect themselves!’ That was you! Before you used this…this gift as a weapon! Don’t you remember what it was like, when Jennifer did the same!”

“I understand why, now. She was trying to protect people from the horrors of the alpha pack. I’ll never forgive her from almost taking my father, from driving you away, but Derek I’m trying to protect you. Because you can’t protect yourself. Not against what’s coming. If you saw what I saw….”

***

Stiles was tossing and turning sweat pouring down his face while a shadow watched wishing he could wake up the boy in front of him. It was the whimper that did it. “Stiles, wake up!”

“No, you’re going to kill me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt them. They were going to kill you.” Stiles whimpered in his sleep.

“Stiles! You haven’t hurt anyone…..no one is trying to kill me. Unless you count the fact that your father might put a bullet in my head for breaking in.”


	2. Back?

“Derek?” Stiles whimpered still in a half sleep haze.

“You need to wake up, it’s a nightmare…” Derek looked at him awkwardly. He would have punched Cora, or Scott, or even Isaac to wake them up, but this was Stiles. He moved his hand carefully to be around the back of his neck, a spot that he knew was calming for wolves and began to slowly massage it. “You need to wake up.” He whispered listening to Stiles heart rate come down to a normal pace from the nightmare.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles mumbled finally awake enough to realize that it was in fact another nightmare and that Derek Hale the person who abandoned him and was about to kill him was massaging the back of his neck tenderly.

“I….Lydia called. She threatened to find me and scream until my ears started to bleed.”

“She was never an easy person to say no to.” Stiles chucked a bit at the thought of Lydia screaming. “Well you see me. I’m alive. You can go back to whatever pack is more important to you. Since we really were just a power trip.” Stiles pushed away from him, or rather attempted to because Derek was having none of it.

“I came back because you need me.”

“You came back because Lydia threatened you. I’ve been begging you to come back for months because I needed you! And you didn’t come back so don’t pretend that I matter. You left us behind because you couldn’t put up with the bullshit of being surrounded by teenagers that just stumble their way into trouble and somehow manage to find a way out! We’re lucky. We’re lucky that we came out relatively unscathed.”

“You don’t seem unscathed to me, Stiles.”

“Well sorry to disappoint Sourwolf, but I’m not like everyone else. My dad being alive isn’t enough to keep this stupid darkness from consuming me. I saw it consuming Scott while he watched Allison and Isaac cuddling and touching and smelling him on her. Until that new girl snapped him out of it. Allison’s darkness is harder to detect. She thinks that jumping into learning how to become a hunter, what her father and her have decided to change to protector with a new code and a new way of life makes it obvious that nothing is wrong. But if she thinks no one’s noticed the knife in her boot, or the one she has hidden against her thigh she’s an idiot.”

“No one else has noticed, Stiles. You’re different than them. Lydia told me that you’re going to be working with Deaton, but are you sure that’s such a good idea? I mean, Jennifer….she had darkness in her heart, and we know how that ended.”

“It’s not IN my heart, Derek! It’s around it. And I’m connected to the Nameton! I have a right to learn how to be an emissary. I’ve always been on that path ever since your UNCLE bit Scott! Peter started this. He put me on this path, so if you don’t like it take it out on him. I’d appreciate him being out of the picture. If he thinks I don’t know that he’s up to something he’s got another thing coming.”

“No one is saying that you wouldn’t make a good emissary, but maybe…I don’t know I don’t think you’re ready Stiles. Scott is worried, Lydia is worried. You might not physically be a wolf, but you’re instincts…Your pack is worried about you.”

“Because my ‘pack’ has done such an amazing job of taking care of their own right? Because Erica and Boyd are dead, you abandoned us, Peter is plotting, your sister never really wanted to be part of this pack, but she was. So you tell me if we’re not a dysfunctional pack. Tell me that we’re not messed up! That a regular pack would tear us to pieces. And you went off to be an omega with your sister, because you didn’t have the balls to stay around for the aftermath. You and Scott both said you’d save our parents and whose the one who saved them? ME! I DID! I’m the one who saved the parents while you and Scott let her go! And you let Ducallion go. After everything that he did you let them go!”

“He was a man of vision once. Maybe letting him go would remind him of this. My mother respected him. Deaton agrees that we did the right thing. An emissaries job is to give advice sometimes the advice isn’t what they want to give. But if you’re going to be Scotts Emissary then you’ll learn that you have to give advice even when it’s not what you feel in your heart.”

“He didn’t deserve to live. She didn’t deserve to live! Last year all we had to worry about was not killing anyone on the freaking lacrosse field! Now I have to worry about someone coming and doing sacrifices or someone trying to force Scott into an alpha pack .We have Aidan and Ethan unsure of how to submit to Scott and you just gone. Danny still doesn’t know that he’s dating a wolf and Lydia is just forgetting that Aidan helped kill Boyd. So I don’t understand why you think that you letting him go was a good idea!”

“Stiles.” Derek’s voice was full of calming undertones. He remembered Isaac accusing him of this being a power play before he left. He had been selfish when he built up a pack of teenage misfits, but Isaac had been right. He was lonely. He grew up in a pack, surrounded by humans and wolves that loved and protected each other and that’s what he wanted. It’s what him and Cora went looking for. They hadn’t found anyone willing to take them in. Not after word reached them that he had been an alpha. That he had given up his position to save his sister. “Do you want us to come back? Do you think that would be easier? To explain how Cora disappeared from the hospital? To find me a place here without being thought of as an ex-murder suspect.”

“My dad doesn’t think that….but he knows everything now…” Stiles muttered. “I don’t want you to come back if it’s so that you can hang around here and pout like a lost puppy.”

“Having fun with the dog jokes?”

“I don’t know Miguel are you going to give me back my shirt.”

“How did you even manage to sneak that into the duffel bag anyway? I was sure that it was at the bottom of a trashcan or something, since you hated me when you wore it.”

“I didn’t hate you Derek, I just didn’t like you. Also, you don’t scare me.” He looked at Derek a while and motioned for him to sit down. “Tell me about Paige.”

Derek said nothing at first. He just looked at him with those broken eyes. “How….Peter. What did he tell you?”

“That you asked Ennis to turn her. That you didn’t give her a choice. That she died, or was dying from the bite and you took her life to save her from the pain.”

“That’s not what….” Derek breathed deeply as if trying to slow his own heart beat. “I loved Paige more than anything. That night at the school it’s a haze to me. I remember writing for her to come, and I remember Ennis being there, but I wasn’t the one who planned it. I think Peter was doing it as a surprise. I think he thought it would make us close again. I used to look up to him when I was younger, but there was something off about him, the older I got. I took her to the nemeton and held her while she rejected the bite. The bite is a gift, but only one that should be offered, not just…you don’t give it to someone who wouldn’t want it. I knew Paige would never want to be like me, but I knew deep down that she would accept me. She was a beautiful soul.”

“And you killed her. It made your eyes blue.”

“And I killed her, because she asked me to. I wish I’d be stronger, I would have killed Ennis, or Peter for harming such a beautiful soul, for tainting it.”


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m sorry.” They stayed there looking at each other neither moving or saying a word. Stiles felt his eyes falling shut as the sun started to peak in through the window.

Derek noticed and moved to help tuck Stiles into bed.

“Don’t go.” He whimpered feeling Derek heading towards the window.

“I’m back for good Stiles. Cora isn’t coming back. She found her place with distant relations. I didn’t fit there. I don’t belong anywhere anymore.” Derek moved to sit on the otherside of the bed. To keep watch over the sleeping boy.

“Belong here. Missed you. Glad you’re back.” Stiles muttered as he allowed the sleep to consume him snuggling into the stiff form of Derek.

Hours later the Sheriff walked in on his son snuggling into the sleeping figure of Derek Hale and smiled. It was the first time in months he’d seen his son in a deep slumber and it didn’t matter to him that it was because he was in the arms of a wolf. No, if anything it made him happy to know that at least someone in this town could protect him from the unexplained.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys. This is the end of this one. It just felt right to end this with Derek coming home. YES I will continue to write, and this also means i’m open to request.


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